A study in Bristol, England, published in Hot Topics in Hypertension, says that staring at women’s bo_obs can increase a man’s life expectancy by 4-6 years.
Author and researcher Mark Eis, a professor of homeopathic medicine at Naples University, came up with the hypothesis after noticing how relaxed he felt when his wife got na_ked.
Backed by funding provided by MTV, Playboy and Silvio Berlusconi, Eis hired 500 males aged 18-26 without any pre-existing medical conditions – and instructed 100 of them to ogle women’s br_easts daily. 100 more were instructed to only stare at the br_easts of women who’d gotten implants, for a kind of placebo effect.
Another 100 were told to actively avoid even so much as a glance (“You should have seen their faces when I told them,” Eis commented with a chuckle).
A further 100 men were told to stare at ni_pples, but only those of other men. The last 100 served as the control group, and were told to eat one banana every day and change nothing about their se_xual habits.
After 5 years of monitoring his subjects, Eis collected and published his results, which had found that those participants who were expressly told to direct their gaze at boobs had lower blood pressure, better circulation, and less chance of blood clotting than any other group in the study.
Those who were told to not gawk, exhibited symptoms of hypertension, increasing their risk of sudden cardiac arrest, stroke and cancer. Collectively, these conditions were predicted to shorten the lives of these subjects by an average of 5 years.