Signs she is high maintanance


Since you can’t seem to figure it out for yourselves, I’m going to offer you a few tips on how to preemptively spot a high maintenance (or, as I like to call it, gold digger) girlfriend.

Ignore the warning signs at your peril.

1. Long, Decorated Fingernails — Manicures make women feel good. When our hands look nice, we feel nice. But the gal who opts for the crazy-glued, Wolverine-length nails decorated like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, if RuPaul had painted them, has just taken a play out of the highmay handbook. H

2. Fur-Lined Jackets — There is no reason for fur to line the outside of jacket’s hood. Really. It doesn’t keep the face warmer; its function appears to be to wave ever so slightly in the wind — like wheat over a field or a beauty pageant contestant’s hand.

3. Heels Over 3 Inches — Diamonds aren’t a girls best friend, that distinction belongs to high heels. Besides elongating the leg, they tone the thigh muscle — which means women get to skip yoga and the meditation/Tourette’s refrain running through the mind over the course of the class.

4. Pink Rhinestone Cell Phone Covers — Something about this item screams vagazzled to me, but that’s another conversation. Here’s the thing, the cell phone is a sleek, utilitarian, futuristic piece of machinery.

5. Hair Weaves/ Extensions — Sort of like the fingernails, but hair weaves and extensions are even more incapacitating and infinitely more expensive. When the hair can never be touched, not a tender stroke or a tug in a heated moment of sexual apogee, it’s perhaps the ultimate expression of highmaydom.

6. Off-The-Boat Russian or Eastern Europeans — Like modern-day La Femme Nikitas, the women of the Eastern Bloc are totally se_xy — only their target isn’t assassins, it’s the local mall.

7. Royalty-Infused Throw Pillows — Unless a woman’s listed in the phonebook with the letters H.R.H. before her name, she is not a queen.

8. Stuffed Animals — I can’t speak to stuffed animals lining the back of car windows. I don’t know these people. I don’t ever want to meet these people. But stuffed animals perched on a woman’s bed or vanity table is another story entirely.

9. Orders Fruity Drinks — Sangria is a traditional Spanish drink with fruit in it enjoyed by many. The Cosmo is a fruity martini enjoyed by women stuck in the 90s, Katy Perry aficionados, and for those that thought Legally Blonde wasn’t a movie, but a documentary about their college sorority lives. When she orders a fruity cocktail on a first date, it means she likes things sweet, not just in her drinks, but in general.

10. Dog in Purse — Like the woman who can’t go to the bathroom without a friend (highmay-esque, but not a serious enough offense to make the list), a small dog in the purse indicates some serious co-dependency issues.

Source : Online